Our Evil Neighbor: Community ALERT

The day we moved into this little cottage, we unwittingly began a war with one the neighbors. This guy went out his mind and had a complete psychotic break when I accidentally startled him. He threw stuff us and screamed for 30 minutes all the while doing his best to intimidate us. I was so shocked that all I could do was stand and stare at him. Finally, I'd made up my mind that he was just a special kind of freak and we should ignore him. Well, that is to say that I did my best to ignore him until he decided to pee on my laundry when I hung it out on the clothes line. He did this several times. The final straw was when he climbed a tree and whizzed on my daughter's head.

This horrible neighbor of ours seems to be on some kind of extended vacation. I haven't seen him a while. Maybe he's in jail?? I think it's too much to hope that he's dead or permanently incapacitated. I am fully prepared to do battle with this hairy jerk. I'm including a photo of him so that the entire community can be warned of his mental instability and avoid him at all costs. Please be aware that he often uses foul language in the form of high pitched peeps, squeaks and excessive chittering. He is also often armed with blunt objects in the shape of acorns and walnuts. Local citizens should use caution when outdoors.


Because I couldn't get an accurate photo of my neighbor I've had to use one of his twin. Courtesy of:

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net